Another day at work gone – I'm having a hard time with this commute. I think I might buy one of those things people use to sleep on the train or something. I'm not getting enough sleep by a long shot.
But I like this blog, and I like writing, and I like feeling important when I get a table and take out my laptop as if I'm working on something important ^–^
But my days are blurring together. I wake up, get on the train, get on the subway, get to work, leave work, get on the subway, get on the train, get home, go to bed, wake up, repeat.
Because it's usually an 8 or nine hour day with another 2 hours of commute on each side. No real sleeping in. My days off are becoming the thing holding me onto sanity. I really don't think I can keep it up anymore.
It's not that it's hard work but I can't keep track of my days anymore.
So tonight I'm going out to get a hot cocoa, and then I'm staying the night with my boyfriend, and then I'm going home and probably sleeping the rest of the day away, and doing a mudmask, and possibly a clay mask on my shoulders.
Last night when I got home I was venting to my dad and he was helping me come up with deflections for this girl at work who is giving me trouble, and I used some of them today and I have to say they're helping. I stood my ground and didn't let her boss me around and I responded to her delegations as if they were suggestions. She still pushed it a lot, but I feel I'm getting to a place that I can put my foot down.
I just really hope I don't get fired. I like this job and I make decent money.
We should probably talk about pay and wages and why we don't discuss them in the workplace, and how pay is determined.
One of the girls we tried out was talking about pay her entire first shift, to another girl of the same job title. She goes, “Well, you know how we make twelve dollars?”
Wtf?? It's not that she was discussing her own pay – although that's bad enough – but she was assuming that the person she was talking to made the same amount.
It's seriously bad form, but this topic is conflicting for me. As a citizen, I believe that everyone should be allowed to talk about how much they make.
But as an employee and a manager, my beliefs are all over the place.
The part that stumps me is when I remember that “how much I make” is actually not just a one person decision. Two entities go into that decision, and I really don't think it's appropriate for either party to disclose the details of a deal without the other one's approval.
I make a lot more than any of the other people at the store. Like a lot. If any of the keyholders found out how much I made – with the exception of the new key who is really nice and mature – they'd quit here and now. They'd feel betrayed.
Now I earn it. I make a lot of improvements and I'm a hard worker and I deserve every penny I make and more. I happen to think that the keyholders are pretty lazy and entitled and they're used to having the run of the place. They stay late without asking, don't bother taking breaks – gah. I can't keep venting about them.
I would never share my pay with anyone in the workplace. The only people who can access it are above me, and that's how it needs to stay.
Because what goes into pay? We don't pay everyone the same amount for the same duties, because pay is a contract, and some people haggle better. Pay isn't just “here's how much I'll pay you for this work.” It's also, “And here's how much I'll pay you to make sure you don't steal, and here's how much I'll pay you to not quit after a few months because the employees are a pain.”
And also, “Here's how much I'll pay because you have experience in other fields I may find useful and you're promotable but the promotion isn't available at the moment but I want someone I can easily place in that role but I'm not going to tell you about it just yet because I'm technically not hiring for that position.”
Also, “Here's how much I'll pay you because you happened to apply during a time of need and we need someone today” as opposed to “I have a lot of people to choose from so take it or leave it.”
Also, “Well we have a new District Manager who is more strict about pay and so unfortunately I can't offer you as much as I offered the other person who is also going to be doing the same work as you.”
Also, “Here's how much I am going to pay you because I think you will be decent at this job, as opposed to how much I'd pay if I were confident you will be excellent at this job.”
And these are all fair.
So here's what I believe – companies should be able to have their own policies in place about contracts with their employees, and the open marketplace will tell us which is a better business model.