Good morning!

I still have a cough from two Fridays ago, and tomorrow's my first day off since two Wednesdays ago. Do I have walking pneumonia? Is that how you even spell that?

The girls at work and I figured out a sort of okayness. I don't boss them around and they try to partner with me on projects so I can learn things and have a hand in them. It's working so far, and they're seeming to respect me a little more since I put my foot down.

Today my boss is coming home from vacation and we're going to have a talk about everything that happened. I don't remember how much about the first few days I wrote down. It didn't go very well. Lots of callouts. I didn't get my day off. The girls were disobeying me.

After that she didn't speak to me until – well it hasn't really happened yet. She's pretty upset about a couple things, I guess. I don't know what I did wrong, but that's not always a good way to present yourself when you're in trouble. Better to know what you did wrong and already have put things in place to prevent it from happening again.

On a side note, I just took a typing speed test and learned that I type at 70 WPM. That's pretty fast, a quick google search told me. Maybe if I get fired today I can become a typist. My boyfriend gave me a wonderful new keyboard a few months ago, that I haven't been home to really use much since I got this job. But it types so smooth and maybe I could use it (:

What do you guys want to hear about today? I'm writing to alleviate my anxiety about the possibility of actually getting written up today. Maybe if I do my makeup I won't cry.

I have been really stressed out about a lot of things the past few weeks. Do you guys ever get so stressed out that you'd genuinely feel guilty if you unloaded it onto someone? So you try to bottle it up, but that only makes it worse.

I didn't expect getting into this team to be so difficult. But I should keep in mind that we made our targets a good chunk of the week, and the store didn't burn down, and no one closed early or opened late. Isn't that a good job for a new assistant?

Oh!! I never told you guys about my last job. Do you mind? Not a really political topic although there are some funny politically charged topics.

Well it's not technically my last job, but it's my last job like this one. It's called The Body Shop, and I'm sure you've gotten it confused with Bath and Body Works before, because everyone has.

I was only 19 when I got hired there, so I was pretty young, but the girls were all pretty young. We were an amazing team. I was hired as a PTAM, a Part-Time Assistant Manager. Level 3 in the hierarchy, below the Assistant Store Manager and the Store Manager. It was only part time, but it was 12.50/hr, and back then that was okay money.

The girl who hired me was amazing, and she taught me a lot about sales and people and management. She taught me everything I know, along with her Assistant. They were a great team. So far, I'm not doing a good job getting there with my new boss.

I was one of two with my job title, so the four of us ran the store. Everyone was great with coaching and before I knew it I had the best KPI's on the team. I made the most money. I had the most clients. I made everything so much fun, and I learned how to do makeup and use skincare.

Up until then I didn't think I was particularly pretty. My face is really round and I have a lot of scarring from my acne, and my eyelashes aren't very pronounced and my nose is sort of big. But I have some pretty features, like my eyebrows are really full and my lips are poofy because they're from my dad's side.

But when I started learning all this stuff and treating my acne and using cosmetics, my confidence went through the roof. I was married at the time so it's not like I suddenly started going on dates, but going out in public wasn't so hard for me anymore. I even lost some weight that summer (I'm also not very thin, but not fat, but also not that amazingly sexy thing in between).

I just have my moments.

Anyway, my job was to coach the sales associates, to help customers find skincare that works for them, and to help with the operational side of the business.

It was amazing. It's heartbreaking that it had to end and I don't even want to talk about how it did. But it did. My husband was even nice to me while I was there sometimes, I think because I was growing a little.

I want that here but I don't think I'll find it. These girls are called Keyholders, not assistant managers, but they act like they run the place. She's given out too much responsibility to them, and they have no need of my leadership and therefore no need to partner with me. She texts them direction without including me – this place texts a lot – and I get confused about what everyone's working on.

She doesn't have control over their phone use and they're constantly on it to do Social Media posts, that we're responsible for instead of helping customers. I wish they would ask permission to get on their phones and do things, and I wish we checked that they're finished and then they put their phones away. I don't think anyone should ever have their phones on the sales floor.

There's never any coaching and these sales associates have zero energy or enthusiasm. There's way too much going on on the computer and never enough going on on the floor.

I don't think this is my dream job, but I make a ton of money now and I really like money.

I really like money. It helps with a lot of things. It takes a lot of stress away from regular life. I'll need it if I'm going to have a family. I'd like to have a family someday. That was always the plan.

My job at The Body Shop was years ago, but I'm just now getting back on the horse and trying to get back into the corporate world.

I hope I don't get fired today, but if I do, my boyfriend and I have decided to move to Florida (:

I still dream about my job at TBS, I still remember my clients and the people I helped, even the little kids who were just getting acne and needed help, and helping them while their anxious parents watched.

I used to judge girls who wore makeup before I got into that world. I think that's what I'll talk about in my next post.