I talked to my boss today, about everything that happened when she was gone. We hired a bunch of new girls who are going to start next week, and I'm so excited because my boss wants me to spearhead training!
That's what's new with me. It looks like this job will be fine – I was so close to quitting because of how that one girl was treating me, but I went over it all with my boss. She's not cool with it either. I even showed her that awful text – did I tell you guys all about the drama?
You're not here for that.
Let's talk a little bit more about looks. I remembered something last night, when I was getting ready for a date (my boyfriend took me out to see a DragonBallZ movie and it was so much fun). I got all dressed up and wore a hot dress and did my hair, and I looked great and felt great.
While I was prepping, I had a memory of one of the first dates I went on with my boyfriend, and how I was getting ready. I went to ask my dad if I looked okay, because I think I was wearing a dress for the first time in a long time. He said I looked lovely, and I must have seemed too happy. He kind of got up out of his chair and paused his video and walked in my direction like he was getting ready to say something he hoped I already knew.
“You know, you don't have to go all out like that.”
I kind of looked at my dad for a minute just hearing the words.
I know, I told him. But I like to get all dressed up. And my boyfriend puts so much effort into looking great, and shaves every time I go to see him no matter what, and drives a while to see me, and I just want to make sure I'm putting in as much effort as I can, because so does he.
He stopped and realized what I was trying to say, and I saw that it clicked. I wasn't putting a ton of effort into looking nice because I didn't think I already looked nice, or because I felt obligated, or because of muh patriarchy. I was doing it because I loved how I looked, and it made me feel great, and because my boyfriend is GORGEOUS and I want to put in effort for him like he does for me.
Dad respected me a lot more after that, about all the makeup and the face masks and the serums and the money and time I put into it.
I happen to know that I'm pretty without all that stuff, maybe nothing striking, but enough. And when I do my hair and get my face all done and put on a hot dress, I'm striking. And I want to feel that sometimes.
I haven't really talked about it much because – well there's nothing to fix with my boyfriend, and it feels wrong to put him here in my list of things I hate about the world and people. But he's gorgeous. Like he's just exactly the kind of good looking I didn't know I needed. Plus, he's kinda out of my league in every other possible way you can like ever imagine. And I'm trying to do everything I can to grow out of never having grown at all.
So – I wear makeup :) And then sometimes I don't. And sometimes I wear something hot, and sometimes I don't. And sometimes I order a salad, and sometimes (most of the time) I don't.
What I can say, I was the hottest girl in that theater last night (pretty sure I was also the only girl in that theater last night, but I think it counts).
There's nothing wrong with wanting to make a good impression. We're women and we want to stun. Just sometimes. Just once in a while, be the cutest thing in the room. Be seen on your boyfriend's arm and give him status. Let him feel like he's on top of the world for the night too.